Aubrey Plaza Reads Thirst Tweets

hi my name is aubry

plaza

and i'm here with buzzfeed to read your

thirst

tweets

i'm just gonna say right now i think probably 90 of these will be people telling me they want me to run them over with a car or something stomp on their faces or something let's do it if

aubrey

plaza

actually

reads

sed

tweets

i'll bury myself alive um i'm doing so i hope you bury yourself alive miss aubry

plaza

are you free thursday cause i am? free thursday so if you want to go out on thursday when i'm free that would be great because i'm free thursday and thursdays when i'm free i'm not free thursday i'm free the day i never wish aubry

plaza

and matthew gray goobler were my birth parents actually no i wish i was in a relationship with them i think you should decide if you want to be in a relationship with your parents and that is something you should talk to your therapist about and i dont know who matthew gray gubler is i have never heard of that person in my life aubry

plaza

reading

thirst

tweets

let's bring her back drinking milk popsicle her nose because that was all caps hot exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point in the first place she was snorting milk up her nose she wasn't drinking it up her nose and she didn't I don't have any milk right now, so I'm not doing that

Aubrey

Plaza

thing.

If you're listening, let me ask you out. I am good company. I swear I'm not a sweaty person. I'll let you be bad. oh that's tempting that's really um yeah perfect question trio mark me aubry

plaza

and a tub of peanut butter that makes me feel weird sorry for being

thirst

y in maine im just a big simp for aubry

plaza

what is simp why y'all di simp what is this I don't understand simp it's the most disgusting word I've ever heard even though I don't like to say it or read it so tweet if you suck aubry

plaza

's big toe and if you don't like this tweet let me know so I can block you what i like that is just nasty and i'm on it i'm watching the anger go west and i just want to say i wish that both aubry

plaza

and elizabeth olsen would brake and stomp me well this is what i'm talking about i knew the most of these

tweets

were about stomping on your face or smashing you in high heels or running you over with a car aubry

plaza

it's so dad can fix all my daddy issues i don't know that's ironic i feel like i have daddy issues and I feel I want my dad to fix my dad's problems, but I'll be your dad.

I would put myself on a steakhouse for Aubry

Plaza

. Thank you. your face people twitter why do you want me to step on your face how did we get to this point in the world aubry

plaza

hot sex wonderful good acting hilarious funny person awesome charitable busy with both busy busy awesome sexy pretty cute emily the criminal that was a bot, i think it was a bot and that wasn't real per son i would get into traffic for aubry

plaza

i would sacrifice my first born for aubry

plaza

i would let aubry

plaza

kill me if she wanted to god i would do anything just to smell her hair aubry

plaza

is a goddess and no other human woman will ever live up to your standard again thank you very much the female urge to be criticized by aubry

plaza

be criticized for why do they want me to criticize them because i could aubry

plaza

could strangle me to death and i would still be nice with the violence in these

tweets

i have nightmares about this people want me to be mean to them i don't know what i did to deserve this i'm a good a person i know everyone is in love with aubry

plaza

but i would actually let him stab me again with the stabs and the stomps and the bites it's like a weird thing where it's like i hear i hear this so much i don't want to stab you i want to stab you and i would would leave jesus sick you were all you sick and sick little babies and you all need to get stabbed and stomped on. d let aubry

plaza

poke my eyeball out with a fork and step on my throat with spiked boots and if he liked it well you know what he does please ask aubry

plaza

to plow me i support your request and i don't I do I don't know if we're going to get there but if we do you're welcome aubry

plaza

I'm just a hole for you me and I'm just a I'm a person I'm a human being what do you want me to do to your holes be more specific what you want me to twitter your holes because i will anyway i'm hoping more people want me to stab them and throw them into oncoming traffic i asked for this and i deserve this watch my movie emily the criminal is coming out in theaters can you sit down at the movies and imagine stabbing your holes and blasting you with my sick fucking talent the thing is i want to be dominated that's what and "All that's left is i want to get slapped and choked and stabbed but whatever