Ich möchte euch etwas trauriges erzählen
I want to tell you something and before the video starts I don't usually do that, I'm going to issue a warning to people who can't cope with loss, grief and the dead who don't want to hear those topics. I can only say don't listen to the video that's what it's about and I talked to my girlfriend's family if I should make a video about it because it's very intimate and very private but the problem is of course I'm in public and even If I'm not a classic influencer, now I'm the one who shares every step of his life with you, of course there's a lot of me on the channel and depending on how I'm doing it, my videos are, of course, also my content. maybe you can understand a bit why i'm not as funny as son right now st or why the videos are so short because that's what a lot of people have been complaining about lately why are the videos so short if every time they are shorter ones or where is the podcast where are the live streams and so on yeah there was a death in my family last weekend from saturday to sunday it's hard for me to talk about it was my father and it wasn't something to whatever I could somehow prepare for or count on he just died in his sleep with no hint that maybe it was something is wrong my whole family is of course nervous and my father meant a lot to me I was very close to him he was writing to me every day always worried about me he always tried to fix everything no matter if we argued or anything else, but always because he knew he could always write to my father or call me, for example at what time because he always e helped me with the move when I had to go to the airport because they invited me somewhere, no matter what, my father was always there for me 100% and consequently it is extremely difficult to live my life without him.
Now of course I tried to carry on as normal. Luckily I pre-produced a bit because Kreis is on vacation so we pre-produced the whole Crown and that was also amazing because I've been sick for the last six weeks or I know maybe even longer. I don't know Yes, I was sick. First I had gastrointestinal problems, when did he give me the flu? Then I got Corona, all in a row. In fact, I didn't have time to recover, so a lot of things got out of control. I still have 14 videos with Kreis taken in two. days before going on vacation we really wanted to make room and everything except my health did not allow it, I was totally exhausted also with the Ghostbusters video, which we actually thought of as a project, we wanted to do a little more there, but in the video I almost slipped out of my chair because a lot of people are writing too.
How can you be so stupid and not understand a lot of things? But I was so sick then but I had to because Kreis was leaving soon and yeah I had to earn money and everything and now this happened with my dad and I tried. shadows of rose to the best of my ability to play with the theme yes Bros with his dad I tried not to let it show but it wasn't easy for me and I think it won't be easy for me in the next few days either because my mom, I can sleep alone, so I don't know when I get to streaming and with live streams it's much more difficult than video recordings because you can press pause to recover and so on but on Liv streams I don't know I feel a little better now because little by little I'm just starting to process everything but I can tell you how I can't go an hour without any memory of my father or me hearing his voice or somehow still saying something to me and yes I've also discontinued all advertising deals and those things for now.
I know many will write now hey why don't you take a break? Can you take a break? I can't if I don't want to whine here right now or so I know that a lot of people are having a hard time with the current situation in the world right now but I can only tell you I can't either I have a family that I have to take care of I have a loan that I have to pay for home so I really don't want to fill your ears right now my mom is whining too my dad has everything if I have to take care of that I have to try to catch up with everything he did before h en and he did a lot he was someone who always stepped on the accelerator, it worked accordingly, it has to continue and if it's not me and maybe I'm just weird in some way, that's why I made the video so you know it's just that, yeah there's a lot going on right now, God of War is coming on Tuesday, these are projects I live off, it's really important to my existence, I can't skip these things and it's also about a father-son relationship, like everything I'm playing in a way. right now it was when i realized what are the themes of all the games batman is also the father so to speak so the show will continue i wanted to tell you that so that maybe you don't have a clue and be a little considerate, i'm also sorry if something doesn't work or if something doesn't work, etc.
I know most people will understand that some heavy things remain and still in front of me as it happens yes then also a funeral my father wanted us to have no work with the grave So I considered for such a forest cemetery Waldfried there he comes later in an urn that it was also his wish he wanted to be cremated he then goes into the urn and then he is buried there by a tree and you can't put flowers or anything in there or any other memento yes that is something that is completely natural i think he liked that a lot, he was also someone who worked a lot with wood had to do and yes, that's going to be hard for me again because that's the last moment I can say goodbye and then move on.
I've also decided to just spend more time with my son because I'm always just myself I'm like my father in the end I really always work every day I really never get a break my brain is always working too so we're very similar when it comes to that and I want to that in j In any case I would like to take advantage of the weekend for me for my son for my family because those are short moments very very short moments the child is almost one year old and that moment when you rock him to sleep or I also had him yesterday I looked in the photos we took of my son in the last few months and how fast he grew in there and how many things he has put away like when you used to suck your thumb he sure doesn't even his baby anymore he doesn't make any noise while he sleeps because he used to make such sweet noises it's all such a short thing and only in hindsight or when you think about it for a bit do you realize how important moments are and that they will never happen again once you've lived it or you've lost it so i just want to say you love your parents i was lucky to have a great dad tell your parents i saw my dad with my son thursday everything was good last thursday now he's gone you break my heart when the time comes so tell your parents you love them i didn't everything worked thursday as fast as i brought the young car the dog was still there and everything was alone without my girlfriend at my parents house, somehow quickly disappeared inside I couldn't tell him because I thought I would see him and then we would call if I listen to him yes then everything was very fast so if you show your parents that you love them more than too much that is the lesson I was able to take from that attempt never being in a fight trying to reconcile things is important because everything doesn't matter when it comes when the moments come you realize how unimportant everything is suddenly small fights and so on I wish everyone who p You may be going through something similar long after Kr it's hard it's hard I've never cried so much in my life and yeah thanks for listening you know I don't know when I'm going to podcast again I'll try to stream soon if I'm not feeling well.
Listen, thanks to all the people who are also supporting me on the live stream. The last broadcast. He wanted to step on the accelerator again after the illness. Lots of people subscribed or donated etc. I hope you feel don't step on yourself now that I haven't been live for so long it's almost a week again but I couldn't get it right bye yeah bye