Last Week Tonight With John Oliver 8/21/2022 FULL | Last Week Tonight HBO Today Aug 21, 2022
thank you so much for joining us it's been a busy
joe biden signed the inflation reduction bill the cdc announced a major reorganization and the fallout from the fbi search in mar-a-lago continued with trump associates circling increasingly outlandish rationalizations for why it was okay for him to keep confidential documents there, including this one, really if you look at the act of espionage, it's not really about taking the documents, it's about destroying them, hiding them, or giving them to the enemy, right? It's not about taking them and putting them in a place that's more or less as safe as they were in the first place okay uh look leaving aside rudy walking up to the line to admit on behalf of trump that he took those documents yeah You are comparing the security of two places the worst two examples would be the white house and the florida resort where a failed bachelorette contestant actually claimed on instagram that i snooped pretty freely and the secret service wasn't too concerned about the security room i went into because it's not exactly a secure storage facility yes youth pastor ryan reynolds here could just wander wherever he wants but let's start with the midterms more primaries were held this
in wyoming republicans overwhelmingly eliminated liz cheney despite
minute endorsement from her father emperor palpatine and in alaska a lot has been going on ace they actually have open primaries there where the top four finalists regardless of party go to the general election so on the senate side there's going to be at least two republicans on the ballot this fall senator lisa mikowski and the most extreme kelly chabarka not only questioning the 2020 election results but also running alliteration heavy ads like this we can block joe biden business destroy crime cascade defense decimate Energy. annihilating freedom flapping gun grabbing demanding militant father punishing police chasing socialist sympathetic america erasing the agenda wow ok so i have about a million problems with that first crime the cascade doesn't work the cascade doesn't really take a direct object like that next energy and annihilate don't start with the same letter which is weird because there are tons of other options for e extinguish exterminate even a simple ending if you're feeling lazy then there's a military mandate which makes absolutely no sense.
I'm not even going to try to explain that, and of course there's the grand finale of America's destruction agenda. What are you doing going from to to there? You know what would have been a great replacement to kill in this situation? annihilate but its too late because you screwed up that one right at the beginning other than that no notes alaskans also voted in a special election this
to fill a vacant house seat and for that they had to use ranked voting preferably for the first time, which your local news explained in the most Alaskan way possible.
Imagine the moose, polar bear, penguin, and owl are running for office. He prefers moose and is definitely against penguins, so maybe he'll fill out his ballot like this moose, polar bear, owl, and penguin. You can also choose to only partially fill out the ballot and just leave completely excellent penguin I love so much there because that host didn't feel the need to take his festively wrapped cell phone out of his breast pocket to the offensively Alaskan candidate selection. he's the equivalent of new jersey explaining ranked preference voting using bon jovi tony soprano a deer who has never eaten food intended for a deer and melanoma he's also a good so called loser penguin who of course doesn't even have the decency to live in the state, but I guess it just goes to show that Even when they're made from fictional animals, every election has to have its own Doctor Oz.
Now, the reason Alaskans need to take that House seat is that Don Young, who served since 1973, died earlier this year and if you're not awake. re from don young he was a lot
john boehner once claimed young pinned him against a house wall and put a 10-inch knife to his throat, but he also had less pleasant moments, like calling the bp oil spill no an environmental disaster but a natural phenomena referring to latinos using a racial slur and behaving like that during a discussion about naming a post office after a marine who was killed in afghanistan just look at the left side from your screen sergeant d augustine was killed on march 27, 2012 in hemlin province afghanistan a fierce battle eh ground where over 19,000 marines were deployed what are you doing that was supposed to be a bleak moment how would you feel if someone Your memory will be disrespected like this, look young man, the so-called dean of the House of Representatives passed away at the age of 88.
I don't see that he's not feeling well, right? You're so lucky to be dead right now and then there were Young's congressional office decor choices that were str iking and he always seems to have the ability to surprise it's a big gamble you know what that is right? uh yes you do what is i not a walrus penis the only acceptable answer to the question what is it? i don't know because the biggest possible red flag would be someone saying oh 100 i could certainly tell you blindfolded it's a walrus dick there also i'm not sure where don young got that mallet but i'm just going to assume he used to hosting a paternity court reality show for walruses that would see so clearly that Don Young is leaving some big, weird shoes to fill and there's already a brand contender to fill them and deep down you already know that.
Who is true? Alaska needs a politician. You know what comes here if I were asked to serve in the house and take his place. I would be humbled and honored and do it. Yes, in a heartbeat. it's 2008 all over again she's running for office America's entered a bear market and Sex in the City is creating spin-offs that frankly don't have the material to support society. It's going backwards. Unsurprisingly, Paley's platform is
full of culture warfare. She said we can't give up. She the missing emails from Benghazi and Hillary and she's about to fight gun control and abortion rights, but some Alaskans worry she's just going to step up to fame. forums, including one hosted by the anchoring Republican women, something they handled with sublime passive aggression by leaving her an empty chair with her name on it and the word no, I know chairs don't have agency or access to a printer, but it looks like someone took the pale name in a chair and now the chair itself protests it.
A conservative editor in alaska even said that sarah knows how to work with a crowd, but it's sarah inc that rings true. its like the title of a sitcom starring kat dennings who has already quietly disappeared from hbo max hbo max its not tv its a series of tax breaks to appease wall street mira palin has always been a hustler and if there ever was one If you're wondering what she really cares about, just watch this chaotically shot and edited video from her Instagram account in May, where she spews out a series of campaign platitudes and then makes clear what she's really up to.
I'm here preparing for a trip home with other candidates running for united states congress to really get it right and things are happening in our world in our country and the yahoos are running our country right now yes they need to be replaced so
john happy birthday to you and i know those around you we love you so much and speak highly of you especially justin but others wish you happy birthday too yes that seems to be an ad for both his campaign and his cameo with the title even reading d Don't Forget Father's Day Cameo Requests For Your Loved Ones Which Is A Spectacular Scam As It Essentially Says Don't Forget To Pay Me to brainwash your father. speaks highly of me i bought it for myself and it was the best gift i ever got but being sarah palin is a good deal in her financial disclosure.
She revealed that
year she earned over $200,000 from a cameo appearance, which she did by charging $199. per video and that's too much to pay for a rambling message from a parking garage, especially when for just 75 you can get a message from carson cresley, who will tell you you look great, look, oh hi
john carson cresley, you look great here. you've been moisturizing that will be 75 please thanks carson i haven't been moisturizing and see if the alaskans will fall for palin maybe they clearly have in the past but i really hope they don't this time because frankly the only conceivable retire from don young it would be sarah palin who likes a walrus penis its a fun alaskan novelty but it has nothing to do with being in congress and now this and now 60 seconds of tucker carlson being right about things america is a racist country white supremacy is our biggest threat senators republicans are sexist bigots don't care about women this is a bad country run by racists and its history is inherently racist immigrants are basically perfect they are smarter more hardworking more creative than you or any of your americans - born neighbors were or could be the phrases all lives matter american exceptionalism and celebrity columbus day ration are racist the capitol riot was a white supremacist insurrection donald trump is a fanatic only losers and freaks support donald trump i have enjoyed white privilege i'm racist the show is racist white people they are idiots this is propaganda at work fox news is propaganda this is the crudest type of propaganda designed to divide the country by race this is too stupid none of this is real it is all noise this is all insane this is utter insanity it's easy to laugh at this but it's also horrible to think of the brainwashing required to do this with a straight face this channel must not be allowed to move on our main story
refers to earth it's basically the oscar isaac of the planets in the sense that it seems to be heating up alarmingly every year it is pretty clear that this planet is not doing very well with the level of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere It was now higher than ever in human history and a recent UN Commission Climate Report was called an Atlas of Human Suffering which, coincidentally, is also Craigslist's catchphrase. on a solution to become carbon neutral or net zero by basically running their businesses in such a way that they don't add to the amount of carbon in the atmosphere since
year one in Five of the world's 2,000 largest publicly traded companies are now have committed to a net zero emissions goal, which sounds great, you may have even seen them flaunt their claims in ads like this one for United Airlines, this one for Apple, this one for Shell, and this one. one from an unexpected source kitkat commits to becoming carbon neutral by 2025. would reduce emissions by 50% through forest regeneration planting 5 million shade trees supporting regenerative agriculture and securing 100% of renewable electricity for our factories worldwide the world and will offset any remaining carbon by investing in climate projects, let's give the planet a break, yes even Kitkat is getting in on it which is a weird sales technique.
I'm out of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, that's why you do now as for the shovel made from a kitkat that looked less like a sustainably grown tool and more like what I would use to bury the body of the m m red but the catchphrase comes at the end there that they would offset any remaining carbon which is actually a common tactic in fact a study that took a close look at the net zero pledges of dozens of companies in heavily polluting industries found that two-thirds of them rely on offsets rather than emission reductions. Offsets are very popular. the greats have done this dave matthews bon jovi coldplay and even the angsty victorian sergeant pepper ghost club band my chemical romance a big tour like this uses a lot of energy trucks vans lights sound and more and that has an impact on energy projects alternative to help make up great thank you guys and I admit it's nice to see you represent your core fan base high school students having to perform in front of class against their will but I don't particularly like the phrase stuff greens up there sounds like something shrek would say right before sexual climax watch out i'm about to turn things green look at me donkey i want you to look at me look in my eyes and yet if the idea that you can just reverse it a bit of money and making your carbon footprint disappear sounds too good to be true, that isbecause study after study has indicated that most commercially available offsets do not reliably reduce emissions, and yet offsets are now the backbone of environmental policies for many of the planet's biggest polluters, as well as so since
we talk about carbon offsets what they are and what they say they do and how they might be making things worse and let's start with some basic definitions the idea of a carbon offset is that if you put CO2 into the atmosphere you can offset it by planting or protecting trees that take carbon out of the air or building a wind farm to put back up a fossil fuel plant here is how bp a big polluter of course sells the whole idea that i have been driving and generating three tons of carbon dioxide which by Of course I have released it into the atmosphere to join the rest of the greenhouse gases that are already there now imagine because miles away maybe on the other side of the world someone else takes three tons of carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere so what happened three tons in three tons comes out to zero now that the violently British man did a good job illustrating the concept there, I'm not sure I needed to use a clown's funeral decorations to do it, but I guess without them I never would have known what it looks like when you add three to something but then take three away, it just can't be done, but if that simple explanation didn't do it for you, here's a jerk. explaining the offsets to another idiot using the worst possible metaphor given who that second idiot is of course you can buy carbon offsets which is the equivalent of buying a diamond watch ring and necklace if you cheat on your wife and say oh it's just an offset honey no problem that's right it will work what's your carbon offset oh I can ship as much as I want I can put as many emissions as I want but you have to get rid of your camper and riding a bike ok put aside hannity's inability to decide if he thinks carbon offsets are like buying your wife a necklace or forcing someone else to ride a bike let's dwell on him saying the words if you are him cheat on your wife to a man who was famous for cheating on two of his three wives thus far by trying to get one to sign divorce papers while she was recovering from surgery gy cancer and asking the second for a divorce shortly after he was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis no wonder he sat quietly until hannity started talking again im sure he wanted desperately to get up and leave but i guess that Newt would never do that to Sean, he only does that to people with serious illnesses, but the point is that offsets allow companies that can't immediately reduce their emissions to even things out by buying emissions reductions in other places and in some parts of the world they are actually a way to meet regulatory requirements on emissions, places like China, Korea, Australia and California have set limits for the amount of emissions companies can go above that cap, you can choose to buy an offset to get back below it, but businesses operating outside of those areas can still choose to buy offsets voluntarily to be able to make claims like the ones you saw earlier in those ads, the voluntary market is smaller but growing incredibly fast, it has quadrupled to nearly two billion dollars in 2021. even you as an individual can now buy offsets , you may have seen checkboxes like these on sites like ups offering you the opportunity to carbon offset your delivery or perhaps you were offered an offset as an impulse buy while travelers traveling through austin airport they can help offset the emissions that their flights put into the atmosphere.
It's only two dollars and worth over a thousand miles of air travel now that the price is obviously too low, it's pretty suspicious that you can walk into an airport and make up over a thousand miles of air travel for just two dollars and then head to chibo express where it costs at least five times as much to buy a soggy chicken wrap that looks somehow if i had to pick a description recently divorced there are even boutique companies now popping up like yepu the world's first human breath carbon offsetting service where can for 17 a year make up for your own breath and if you let out a big sigh of exasperation hearing that bad news that will cost you more yes it also offers you the chance to make up for your pets from 50 cents for a hamster up to six bucks for a cat up to 10 to compensate your pig which again seems great aside from the fact that ten bucks to compensate your pig his ena like a dutch sex act that was sent back and forth through google translate one too ma many times for ten bucks bajillio he shed your pig show good show strong your eyes will open and your brave testicles will change let's do plate reasonably intelligent person and because he knows exactly what show he's watching right now i don't open my beak to squawk good news this thing opens to sad news and porridge and i'm out of porridge right now but exactly how he makes up for it is really interesting because it is easy to say that carbon emissions are being reduced, but it is much more difficult to prove it and the truth is that there are not many checks and balances to prevent abuse and let's start with the fact that a key criteria for any offset project is In what is called additionality, the idea is that an offset should provide additional carbon reduction that would not otherwise have occurred. otherwise, for example, if it had planted a tree that otherwise would not have been planted that is additional as it is to save a tree that would otherwise have been cut down, but there are many cases where the claim of additionality It's shaky at best, take JP Morgan, which announced that it had achieved carbon neutrality across all of its operations by 2020.
One of the ways it claims to have eliminated its carbon footprint is by purchasing offsets for worth almost a million dollars claiming to protect an area in pennsylvania called the hawk mountain sanctuary but it turns out the threats to the sanctuary were wildly exaggerated this is the draft planning document submitted in 2018 to the us carbon registry and this is the baseline on which the projects were based that, were it not for the intervention, the forest would be subject to aggressive felling and high grading, the prob motto was falcon mountain preserve as the name suggests was already a preserve since the 1930s this area has been very well cared for managed and protected the forest did not need to be saved was not under threat yes of course it was not and that probably should have been obvious from the fact that it was a reservation and not called hawk mountain cutting zone and tree killing playground when a bloomberg reporter discovered that the offset was sold to jp morgan for the The Nature Conservancy, which has been very active in selling carbon offset projects, also sold 180,000 credits to Disney, which apparently went to protect this forest in rural Pennsylvania from what the Conservancy warned was a risk. of significant commercial logging, but you should know the Nature Conservancy has owned most of that land since 1999 and they are not famous in the commercial business of logging to wooden and you might think well I don't care well for them they are taking the money from Disney and they don't have to give them anything in return. but they're giving them something, namely, they're being given the ability to make claims like Disney cut more than 4 million tons of carbon dioxide equal to taking more than 900,000 cars off the road which we already know not to. true but if it was i would at least expect them to start with kills i don't care if he's lightning mcqueen's best friend he's drowning us he's drowning our planet.
Also, offset money doesn't always go to places like nature conservancies. Remember that airport plan where you could offset over a thousand miles of air travel for just two dollars. Records show that this year a significant portion of the money from that program has gone to support trees at the hudson farm club in new jersey, a 3,800-acre private hunting club created by billionaire peter kellogg and model for the yacht club heart failure ll bean collection here is a member explaining what goes on there peter had this vision of having a place for several of his friends and additional members to hunt new jersey and shoot new jersey and develop one of the best clay court sporting venues in the entire northeast, if not the country, it's called hudson farm it's about 3,800 acres it's in and above new jersey it's one of the most beautiful places on earth i've ever seen and it's a paradise for hunters and shooters it's ok first it's not just me we're all getting stronger getting vibes from that place it's not just me and secondly the hudson farm club and farming company Bluesource carbon dits claimed that without the carbon offset money, 77 of his trees could be felled in just five years, but that was clearly not going to be the case. owned by a billionaire and exists for the rich to fantasize about shooting animals in the wild right up to this life-size carpal cut of a four-wheeled buffalo, in fact I'd say the only real damage that could happen there is of that kind that you saw talking about earlier seems to be in real danger of casually shooting its own sack of nuts and with the market for carbon offsets on the rise there are now companies actively recruiting just about anyone with a tree to get in on the action companies like these they are in the business of finding small landowners and connecting them with companies that pay them not to cut down their trees and they launch with ads like this one from ncx we are in a critical decade for climate and forests are a powerful natural solution to removing carbon of the atmosphere ncx forest data scientists developed the first high-resolution forest map of every acre in America now every land owner and every acre of forest can be part of the climate solution, basically they will pay you to leave your trees alone, which is a pretty good deal as it should be easy not to cut down trees unless of course you let's talk about this one because honestly this tree has at least seven different eye teeth and it looks like it's throwing up a bush you look like the giving tree if all it gave you were nightmares and it was written by h.b lovecraft i hate this tree and with ncx you don't even have I have to promise never to cut down your trees as they give you the option to move on I get paid just to defer cutting for just a year, but a 12-month delay doesn't really do much for the planet, as one expert we spoke to put it , it's similar to selling a carbon credit for holding your breath for 15 seconds, there's also a much bigger problem with all of these tree-based programs, which is that even if they protect one se ction of trees from logging, that doesn't necessarily mean much if a logging operation simply cuts down the trees on the land next door.
Also, with wildfires now on the rise thanks to climate change, offset programs can and have literally caught fire, all of which is why while companies love to make big claims about the benefits of their offsets , they don't really like to get into details take ryanair airline a few years ago they started a voluntary program where customers could contribute one euro to help offset their flight by targeting tree planting schemes in ireland and portugal that help them do that , but one expert later found that those schemes offset just 0.01 of ryanair's emissions in 2019 and when his CEO was pressed about this he got a bit defensive, the point here is that you have a large and growing airline that it emits a lot of carbon dioxide and your offset scheme absolutely doesn't meet that, but there is an irish forest that it's not there on Ross Common, yes, that it's twenty acres, I mean it's nothing like little acorns growing mighty trees if it's only twenty acres.
I'll only get seven acres of mighty oak trees so I started this
year I mean we're working with four projects you know we're replanting trees in maybe Monsig and Portugal we're supporting the whales and the dogs which has nothing to do with carbon dioxide weird nothing to do with carbon dioxide but good for the environment yes none of our customers would be opposed to supporting the whales and dolphins in ireland ok no is that people are against that, of course, people love whales and dolphins. as if you asked your husband to pick upyour kids from school and he came home childless but with a pizza you're not mad at the pizza nobody's mad at the pizza but it's not the important thing he said he was going to do the problem with carbon offsets is that everyone wants believe them, buyers want a cheap way to make a big claim and sellers want money for doing as little as possible and ideally there would be an entity in the middle to keep both parties honest and actually, it's called clearinghouse records and are supposed to be neutral third parties who approve the effectiveness of potential offsets.
These four are the main ones in the voluntary compensation market but those registrations are a I'm not really responsible to anyone technically you or I could start a registration and since they are paid by the company selling the compensation it won't surprise you to learn that many experts say its standards are too low, as evidenced by the fact that the Hawke Mountain Preserve, the Disney Forest, and the hunting club all met the standards of the American rug registry. Basically, getting a carbon registry approval is like winning a child's choice award. a bit greener and look, the problem is not those projects themselves, it's good to protect the forests, but the problem is to claim that they cancel carbon emissions because it really is technically possible to offset carbon if you build a wind farm to replace a fossil fuel plant. that it had no chance of being built; otherwise it could be a genuine trade off, but real world examples are incredibly hard to find. a study of professional wind turbines.
Projects in India, for example, found that at least 52 of the approved carbon offsets were for projects that most likely would have been built anyway, causing real harm because polluters in countries that limit emissions bought those offsets. and when you buy an offset so you can pollute more and that offset is now you're actively making things worse, in fact that study argues that selling those offsets substantially increased global carbon dioxide emissions which is clearly not very good and there's one final way that carbon offsets can do harm because when that bp spokesperson with the gothic balloons referred to building an offset project miles away, perhaps on the other side of the world, it's worth remembering. that people could be living there a decade ago the swedish energy agency announced it had bought carbon credits from a company called green resources which said it had planted pine forests in uganda that could offset carbon emissions elsewhere the problem it was that thousands of rural Ugandans were evicted by the Ugandan government to make space for the plantation, including this man whose family once farmed a large plot of land there when he was seven years old I started herding cattle the other children and I herded cattle in our land had rocks that were remnants from my great-great-grandfather's time, do you have the possibility to show us where your land was? -uh no, that would be a problem, I can get in trouble if I show you the land which is obviously horrible, no one should be afraid to show someone a piece of land unless of course that janky tree would be on it if there was squirrels living in you they have since died of shame and i hope you know that and the swedish energy agency will point out they have now walked away from that uganda project but i will point out they only did it after that new segment you just watched them shaming them on Swedish TV and they were completely on board with that until then, so it seems that the benefits of carbon offsets are at best overblown, while the harm they can cause is very real and while there are ongoing efforts to at least this improve record standards the truth is that offsets are not the answer here we fundamentally cannot offset our departure from c climate change even the current chief executive of united airlines knows that he is one of the few heads of a fossil fuel dependent company who is truly willing to acknowledge how inadequate compensation can be the real challenge we face globally is that humanity produces 4 000 times more emissions than in the pre-industrial era and most of these carbon offset projects consist of planting trees that there is no room on the planet to plant four thousand times as many trees it simply cannot be the answer and the problem is that it is the easy fix is the fix that if you're sitting in suite C you can write a check and check the box and I've got a marketing message that I've offset all my cars but you haven't really done anything he's right the CEO The airline's is right, though he talks about the seductive power of trade-offs that even his company can't seem to give. cheer them on because if you visit the United Airlines website right now, you'll find a page where you can offset your flight against a picture of a forest so that at least one of those people sitting in the C-Suite will happily check a box is Mark Zuckerberg's ghost of the future, but it's true that there's literally not enough room for all companies to plant trees and meet their own net-zero commitment by one estimate, there's only about 500 million acres of land left that can be devoted to new Only the forest for carp and catch and shell has proposed planting a tenth of that amount.
The end result is that we have a compensation system that places profit over science and the rules governing it are too lax and the reason I know that is to remember when I said five minutes ago that I could set up a carbon registry, you already knew where this was going, you knew if they had a loophole where you could set up a registry, set whatever standards you wanted and start listing projects. I was going through that legal loophole, did you know that was going to happen? Well, I'm glad to say that you were right. We set up
Oliver's Carbon Offset Registry and I'm delighted to announce an exciting new project that meets our exacting standard, so please. come with me because as you are about to see we have trees in our studio now trees that you can help protect and at the same time offset your personal carbon footprint are any of these trees really threatened?
I will certainly tell you what they are because I will cut down every one of these here I will maybe there are birds living here or whales who knows but don't worry you can save these trees just by sending me a dollar we are emitting 10,000 carbon credits each of which will prevent chop down this tree for exactly five minutes. All you have to do is go to
oliversoffsets.org, pay me a dollar, and in exchange, we'll send you a card that you can use as proof that you're now carbon neutral that we're making big claims while doing very little, which It honestly
fully reflects the system we currently have, so why not offset your carbon
All proceeds will go towards saving Irish whales and dolphins and who the hell would have a problem with that anyway? that's our show thank you so much for watching