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Mein bisher wichtigstes Video

Sep 18, 2022

Mein bisher wichtigstes Video

I actually hate such a state for such

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s when you turn on the camera and then you sit down and talk and it's real and everything possible but you have to see in the title that this

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is really by far the most important

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that I have uploaded here on Youtube in general I've been doing the whole thing myself for 11 years and have uploaded almost 4000

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s in all and believe me it's not clickbait what's in the title here it won't do me any good to generate views on it here because I I deactivated the advertising so I don't earn a cent, I just want to inform you about something very important, to talk about it and, similar to my panic attack

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from a few years ago, maybe exchange a bit of experience and also this

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to some extent as to use a little therapy but what is it all about you see me in youtube

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s tiktok instagram stories posts podcast or maybe even at some events when I'm on a stage or doing something in front of people, always as a funny, stupid idiot who, I think, from the point of view of outsiders, is always so outwardly who everything is fine with me, as if maybe I really were a perfect person in many eyes I think of you but I can only tell you I'm not a good person to be honest I'm a pretty bad person please understand that I'm not doing this

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to get pity because real talk I just don't deserve it I I'm not making this

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here to throw up about my job or what I do, I'm infinitely grateful.
mein bisher wichtigstes video
I've often said that I've been able to do what I've been doing professionally for the last ten eleven years a time that after a time I suddenly made money with it that I was able to finance my life with it It's not about me at all, it's about something much deeper for me, and it's about me as a person who has unfortunately made a lot of mistakes, especially in the last few years, and somehow I don't know all that I'm trying to work through a bit when you can see this

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here, I'm already in therapy.
mein bisher wichtigstes video
I had no idea for the first few hours or no hour and am trying to understand everything a little bit why in many situations I wasn't the luca I might have been a few years ago but not I think for you as a viewer I think when friends of mine really close people my family see people like this who know I think what this is about but I don't want to go into every little part that was actually a very short

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here but I will think that 99.9% of the people who are watching this don't even know what's going on because I yes you look at my Instagram Stories you see I make stupid jokes you see tiktoks from me I Hampel around there we were now the days here on a cruise I could be funny stupid then we did the days there is also a vlog from the whole journey so when I'm distracted when I'm working in some way or when I'm with my family and thus people who are good to me then I often repress the fact that I'm a bad person but I'm concerned with you a few key points to name why it's about me right now it's about the fact that I'm just really an arrogant wanker I have narcissistic traits that I have to overcome I have I've often been very, very stubborn behavior not only towards friends but generally fellow human beings often only had a look that I want to pull through that I want to do my stuff that I want to be successful often gave a shit about feelings thought I was always the most important of the I have the best opinion that should also be implemented.
mein bisher wichtigstes video
I thought to myself very often, hey, if I have a problem, if I have something that bothers me, then I will deal with it myself because I didn’t want to come across as vulnerable because I didn’t want my friends I wanted to burden my family or I didn't know when I was feeling bad I always said to myself hey I realize that's stupid that has somehow changed like that I don't like it that it's kinda shitty or even if it was about grief that I isn't it just about deaths or any situations that existed or no idea if you felt disadvantaged or no matter what I always made everything up with myself I went to a therapist in Hamburg for a few weeks to just do it again to talk about my panic attacks at the time, which I had because of the stress, these slight burnout symptoms that I had at the time, but I con I never really opened up to him either and then at some point I just said ey, that's no use here and I think I just have to and I've noticed that in the last few days and the spark has jumped over that I'm now just as intense as possible would like to work on myself and not do it for any other people but first and foremost and that shouldn't be selfish but first and foremost really for me because I notice myself that I don't think I'm as good with people as I often wrongly do thought and yes I don't want to chat much longer I just want you to be informed that if, for example, there might be a trend towards fewer

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s coming on my second channel in the next few weeks, we are relatively far ahead of that, I should think more daily Content coming or almost daily content but on the main channel once I get very close to the time d a will tend to be a lot less in the next few weeks, but just so you know if I don't get in touch for a few days if there's no

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or if I only get three or four Instagram posts a year anyway, so I should I don't think I'll miss anyone, but that's just because you know what's going on with me, because no joke, you've really grown on me over the years, even if I've only met a very small fraction of you in real life, it helps it's extremely easy for me when I then read through my Ems and I see a positive message being written every second somehow or something like that, even if it's from strangers it helps a really enormous because I'm just very doubting myself and yes, I just have to work on myself a bit in the near future and I've been doing it intensively with myself for a few days now, but stop now also with professional help and yes I will keep you up to date as best as I can, of course I don't want to because I'm going to talk about every single detail, but close people in my environment definitely know what's going on and yes, I just want to inform you about it so just again i don't want any sympathy from you guys i don't want to complain at all or blame you in any way i've done enough in the last few years i've never looked for the fault in myself and i'm just now i think finally ready to work with it to get the best out of me and become the best person I can be thank you for giving yourselves thank you for sticking with it a bit and yes we'll see each other again
mein bisher wichtigstes video
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